IS THIS A JOKE ??

Off topic chat about anything that doesn't fit anywhere else
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Placido
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Re: IS THIS A JOKE ??

Post by Placido »

That had a promising beginning, and then ...... :(
Jacksparrow
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Re: IS THIS A JOKE ??

Post by Jacksparrow »

Is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Or is it one of Granny's myths
:rofl:
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Placido
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Re: IS THIS A JOKE ??

Post by Placido »

:rofl2: :yes:
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Kev
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Re: IS THIS A JOKE ??

Post by Kev »

I saw a woman walking towards a door, so I opened it for her to be nice.

Instead of thanking me, both she and everyone else on the plane started screaming!
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Placido
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Re: IS THIS A JOKE ??

Post by Placido »

:clap: :laugh:
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Kev
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Re: IS THIS A JOKE ??

Post by Kev »

Why do Swedish warships have bar codes on the side?

So when they're entering the harbour they can scan de Navy in

:D
Jacksparrow
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Re: IS THIS A JOKE ??

Post by Jacksparrow »

Breaking news....

Several women have complained about receiving bunches of flowers, but all of the heads were cut off.

Police think they are being stalked
Jacksparrow
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Re: IS THIS A JOKE ??

Post by Jacksparrow »

A lady decided to give herself a big treat for her 90th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice luxurious hotel..
When she checked out the next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for £250.00. She demanded to know why the charge was so high "I agree it's a nice hotel, but the rooms aren't worth £250..00 for just an overnight stay - I didn't even have breakfast!"
The clerk told her that £250.00 is the 'standard rate,' and breakfast had been included had she wanted it.
She insisted on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, announced: "This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use." "But I didn't use them." ''Well, they are here, and you could have."
He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which they were so famous.
"We have the best entertainers from all over the world performing here."
"But I didn't go to any of those shows.." She Pleaded.
"Well, we have them, and you could have." was the reply.
No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied,
"But I didn't use it!" and the Manager countered with his
standard response.
After several minutes discussion, and with the Manager still unmoved, she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to him.
The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check.
"But Madam, this check is for only £50.00" "That's correct" she replied "I charged you £200.00 for sleeping with me."
"But I didn't sleep with you madam!" said the manager
"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."!!
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Placido
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Re: IS THIS A JOKE ??

Post by Placido »

:yes: :laugh:
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