IS THIS A JOKE ??
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Jacksparrow
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Re: IS THIS A JOKE ??
Is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away.
Or is it one of Granny's myths

Or is it one of Granny's myths
Re: IS THIS A JOKE ??
I saw a woman walking towards a door, so I opened it for her to be nice.
Instead of thanking me, both she and everyone else on the plane started screaming!
Instead of thanking me, both she and everyone else on the plane started screaming!
Re: IS THIS A JOKE ??
Why do Swedish warships have bar codes on the side?
So when they're entering the harbour they can scan de Navy in

So when they're entering the harbour they can scan de Navy in
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Jacksparrow
- Moderator
- Posts: 6524
- Joined: Fri May 30, 2014 9:52 pm
Re: IS THIS A JOKE ??
Breaking news....
Several women have complained about receiving bunches of flowers, but all of the heads were cut off.
Police think they are being stalked
Several women have complained about receiving bunches of flowers, but all of the heads were cut off.
Police think they are being stalked
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Jacksparrow
- Moderator
- Posts: 6524
- Joined: Fri May 30, 2014 9:52 pm
Re: IS THIS A JOKE ??
A lady decided to give herself a big treat for her 90th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice luxurious hotel..
When she checked out the next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for £250.00. She demanded to know why the charge was so high "I agree it's a nice hotel, but the rooms aren't worth £250..00 for just an overnight stay - I didn't even have breakfast!"
The clerk told her that £250.00 is the 'standard rate,' and breakfast had been included had she wanted it.
She insisted on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, announced: "This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use." "But I didn't use them." ''Well, they are here, and you could have."
He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which they were so famous.
"We have the best entertainers from all over the world performing here."
"But I didn't go to any of those shows.." She Pleaded.
"Well, we have them, and you could have." was the reply.
No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied,
"But I didn't use it!" and the Manager countered with his
standard response.
After several minutes discussion, and with the Manager still unmoved, she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to him.
The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check.
"But Madam, this check is for only £50.00" "That's correct" she replied "I charged you £200.00 for sleeping with me."
"But I didn't sleep with you madam!" said the manager
"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."!!
When she checked out the next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for £250.00. She demanded to know why the charge was so high "I agree it's a nice hotel, but the rooms aren't worth £250..00 for just an overnight stay - I didn't even have breakfast!"
The clerk told her that £250.00 is the 'standard rate,' and breakfast had been included had she wanted it.
She insisted on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, announced: "This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use." "But I didn't use them." ''Well, they are here, and you could have."
He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which they were so famous.
"We have the best entertainers from all over the world performing here."
"But I didn't go to any of those shows.." She Pleaded.
"Well, we have them, and you could have." was the reply.
No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied,
"But I didn't use it!" and the Manager countered with his
standard response.
After several minutes discussion, and with the Manager still unmoved, she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to him.
The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check.
"But Madam, this check is for only £50.00" "That's correct" she replied "I charged you £200.00 for sleeping with me."
"But I didn't sleep with you madam!" said the manager
"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."!!