IS THIS A JOKE ??

[Jacksparrow]

I had a broken calculator with a defective X button. Times were hard

[Placido]

Your turn, Peregrine ...........

[peregrine]

If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen.

Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?

[Placido]

My own fault ..........

[peregrine]

Why was the centipede dropped from the insect football team? He too too long to put his boots on!

Did you hear about the farmer who won an award? He was outstanding in his field.

[peregrine]

Harry gets a lot of exercise. Last week he was out seven nights running

History is something that never happened, written by someone who wasn't there.

[Jacksparrow]

Actor Yul Brynner was a lifelong supporter of Liverpool football club and never wore aftershave.
That's right Yul never wore cologne.

[Placido]

We are plumbing new depths here - a symptom of lockdownitis.

[peregrine]

Gawd, I thought I was bad!!!

'Doctor, Doctor,' I feel like a pair of curtains.' ' For goodness sake, pull yourself together.'

[Jacksparrow]

Gawd, I thought I was bad!!!

'Doctor, Doctor,' I feel like a pair of curtains.' ' For goodness sake, pull yourself together.'

I bet you've nicked it though