An old man and his wife were having their first argument after many years of marriage. He says, 'When we got married, you promised to love, honour and obey!' 'I know,' replies the wife. ' But I didn't want to start an argument in front of all those people.'
My soon-to-retire postieperson rang with a packet and remarked in a conversational voice:
'Had to go to the doctor because I have developed an aversion to supermarkets. He asked how long I'd had it and I told him, "Ever since I was a lidl boy".'
My wife and I have the secret of making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant and have a little wine and good food. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his cheque-book open.
An old man and his wife were having their first argument after many years of marriage. He says, 'When we got married, you promised to love, honour and obey!' 'I know,' replies the wife. ' But I didn't want to start an argument in front of all those people.' 
.