The Postman Cometh

[Jacksparrow]

...........the car arrived,picked up Andy and Anna who joined Peke and Andy's mum already seated. As they sped up the M1 towards Yorkshire andy mulled over what the likely outcome was likely to be. He had a couple of scenarios going round in his head and he wasn't sure that he liked either of them. Despite Andy's Mum and Anna chattering incessantly about the twins and just about everything else that had happened in the last ten years Andy drifted off into a light sleep which was only disturbed when the car braked sharply when they almost missed the entrance to the law firm's car park. They were met at the door by Liza Bound the secretary and ushered into an unoccupied room with half a dozen chairs spread in a semi-circle. She directed them to the pots of tea and coffee on a side table and advised that Ivor and Freya would be with them shortly. A few minutes later they were joined by one more person who introduced himself as................

[nuthatch]

"Liza Bound"

[Placido]

gaaawwwd, yet another addition to the interminable cast of characters and they've only just arrived in Yurkshire !

[Jacksparrow]

...............Alf Measures auld `Erbies nebbar. Andy looked Alf up and down trying to guess why he was in the room and wondering if everyone in these parts dressed the same. The battered looking old sports coat with great leather patches on the elbows with corduroy trousers and an old tweedy flat cap on one side of his head. He looked every inch the countryman the likes of which Andy had only ever seen on Countryfile. Just after Alf a middle aged woman arrived but said nothing to the assembled crowd and plonked herself into the remaining unoccupied chair.
Shorly afterward the door to the room opened and in came Ivor Pickle-Degg and another woman who people assumed was his wife Freya. Ivor cleared his throat and began to explain why they had all been called to the reading of the Will. He explained that before he got down to the nitty gritty he needed to give them all a little background on the years Herbie had spent in Yorkshire before his sad demise. He said Herbie had come originally just to do some summer work on one of the farms in the dales but due to illness the farmer had asked him to stay on and help for another month or two.Unfortunately the farmer's health failed to improve sufficiently to let Herbie move on which suited him because he discovered he loved the Yorkshire dales and he had no great desire to return to the Netherlands. The months then became a year and it was clear the old farmer was never going to be well enough to farm unassisted so Herbie was asked if he felt he could take over completely. This was agreed upon and the old farmer retired along with his wife to Bridlington where he had relatives. Although there was rent to be paid Herbie soon realised that the farm was a good earner if farmed correctly and that he could manage alone for most of the time. It was then he made friends with Alf Measures who was able to help him with the animal husbandry he didn't know already........................

[nuthatch]

[Placido]

Cecil b. Demille's directing this, right ?? Cast of thousands and all that.

[Jacksparrow]

Cecil b. Demille's directing this, right ?? Cast of thousands and all that.

Fraid not. Cecil says he can't cope. Disney/Pixar are interested in buying the script. If you like Ill put your name forward for a part. The woman with no name who hasn't spoken yet is still to be cast.

[Jacksparrow]

.............when the time came around to renew the lease on the farm Herbie had put in an offer to buy it instead and with agricultural land being relatively cheap in those days the vendors decided it was an offer they couldn't refuse. The farm was around 70 acres in total but much of that was regarded as unproductive and only fit for sheep farming. Herbie did not let that hold him back,he invested in breeds of sheep that prospered on the hills and were hardy in winter. With the help of subsidies from the Common Market and latterly the EU Herbie was able to buy up more land that adjoined that he already owned and over the years the 70 acres became 370 acres making Herbie one of the largest landowners in the area. The increase in acreage brought him problems as he could no longer cope alone so he persuaded Alf to work full time for him looking after the sheep while he himself looked after the cereal crops that would grow down in valleys. A final employee joined him to handle the burgeoning paperwork that all this business generated. It was Mary Hadder-Litlam. "Thank you Mary for attending today" said Ivor looking in the direction of the lady who'd arrived a minute or so before the meeting started. Ivor said he had been privileged to have been Herbie's solicitor for the last twenty years and had guided him through all the land transactions during that time. Everything had been going well until about two years ago when while at the monthly sheep market Herbie had collapsed. He was rushed to the nearby hospital and subjected to a barrage of tests to try and ascertain the cause. As it happened he recovered quickly from that and was discharged to home without knowing what had struck him down............

[Placido]

Oh stop it, stop it !!
Mary Hadder-

[Jacksparrow]

........and when he returned to the hospital a couple of weeks later to get the results from the tests the doctor was very vague as to the cause of his collapse. Herbie was never one to let a little illness hold him back and was soon back into his routine. Ivor explained that Herbie had not sought to find a wife to share his life with during his time in the dales but had given everything to keeping his beloved farm going. He'd only ever left the farm to replenish his larder and visit the dentist from time to time. He had only had two vehicles that anyone could remember,a battered old Mk2 Landrover for about thirty years and its replacement, another Landrover when the former finally refused to go any further. He did have four working dogs for most of his time on the farm and was seldom seen without at least one of them.
Ivor then suggested that they had a coffee break before the reading of the will proper. Andy was sat thinking "What if I'm left a farm? Would I want to keep it?" Anna came over and sensing Andy was a little troubled put an arm around his shoulders as to be honest even she was a little perplexed as what was just about to happen.
About ten minutes later Ivor called them all to resume their seats and restarted his narration beginning with..................