Garden Wildlife UK

In a freak accident today, a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed on him.

To be fair though, the people who were being photographed did try to warn him.

He was such a hypochondriac he insisted being buried next to a Doctor.

Doctor to patient: I have to tell you, you have acute angina.' Patient: ' Why thank you Doctor.'

A mini bus full of artists has collided with a van full of pencils on the M62.

Police say at the moment details of the accident are sketchy but they should have a clearer picture later today.

A salesman, tired of his job, gives it up to become a policeman. Several months later a friend asks him how he likes it. 'Well,' he replies, 'The pay is good and the hours aren't bad, but what i like best is that the customer is always wrong.

Can everyone who is here for the yodelling lessons please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue.

A new chain of restaurants are to be opened, they will be called Elvis steak houses

It will be for people who love meat tender.

Jacksparrow wrote: Fri May 21, 2021 8:32 pm A new chain of restaurants are to be opened, they will be called Elvis steak houses

It will be for people who love meat tender.

I've just started that new Adam Ant diet.
Don't chew ever, don't chew ever.

I remember exactly where I was when I heard Kennedy had been shot. I was sitting at home listening to the news

I wish I'd been born 1,000 years ago - just think of all the history I wouldn't have to learn