IS THIS A JOKE ??

[peregrine]

For a minute the team were in with a good chance. But then the game started

Jesus saves. But Michael Owen score off the rebound

My doctor told me I should avoid any unnecessary excitement. So I started supporting Arsenal.

[peregrine]

I do sometimes bleach my hair. Its the only way I can keep it clean

Its such a shame to ruin such beautiful blonde hair by dying the roots black

[Jacksparrow]

Terrible news coming from Merseyside this morning

The Birkenhead Tunnel has been closed and the speed limit will be reduced for
the foreseeable future to 25mph
The Highways Agency found over 200 dead crows on the tunnel approach recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.
A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, has confirmed in their report the problem was NOT Avian Flu but rather the cause of death appeared to be from vehicular impacts.

However, during analysis it was noted that varying colours of paints appeared on the ...bird's beaks and claws. By analysing these paint residues it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with lorrys, while only 2% were killed by cars.
The Agency then hired an Ornithological Behaviourist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.
The Ornithological Behaviourist quickly concluded that when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow to warn of danger.
They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Lorry"

[Placido]

Luv it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Kev]

The Government in Egypt has asked the city's taxi drivers to drive around Cairo sounding their car horns.

It is hoped that the familiar sounds of the city will induce a return to tranquillity and normality following the recent pandemic.

Operation Toot 'n Calm 'Em will last for the rest of the week

[Placido]

Oh, yes

[peregrine]

'Mummy, Mummy! Can I wear a bra now I'm 16?' 'Shut up Albert!'

'Mummy, Mummy! Daddy's on fire.' ' Quick grab a burger and a frying pan!'

'Mummy, Mummy! Grandma's going out!' 'Well throw on some more petrol.'

[Jacksparrow]

Thousands of pounds worth of musical instruments have gone missing from a factory.

Police think someone must be on the fiddle.

[Placido]

[Jacksparrow]

I have recently had someone doing some decorating in my house. He is a furloughed Virgin Atlantic pilot. He has made a good job of the landing.