Garden Wildlife UK

Hahahaha, that's very good !!

so cold last week the local flasher had to go round describing himself to people

A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, 'Sorry. we don't serve food in here

Sports news....

The one day international cricket competition taking place in Wuhan has been cancelled after the Chinese team ate all the bats.

Luv it, luv it !!

Last year while I was on holiday at a small hotel in Madrid I didn't feel very well. I called the front desk and they said they had a doctor on the staff and he would come to my room to see me. This he did and made feel more comfortable. I told him I was surprised to find a resident doctor in a small hotel and he nodded and said "No-one expects the Spanish Inn Physician"

Heh heh heh - not bad

This is bare-faced plagiary from the pages of today's 'Private Eye' ........

Old chap standing before a door labelled, "Dame Vera Lynn Appreciation Society" :
Next Meeting:
Venue: Don't know where
Date: Don't know when

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how do we know?

I never learned to spell at school, the teachers kept changing the words.

I got caught smuggling childrens TV memorabilia through Customs...
I would have got away with it but I dropped a Clanger

Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg in a car accident? He's all right now.

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.