Garden Wildlife UK

Pet shop had a burglary down the village. All the items taken was to do with dogs. Police have issued a statement saying, although our enquiries are at an early stage, we don't have any leads at the moment.

The police arrested two kids - one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other off.

A mans body was found today, he had been shot with a starting pistol.

Police believe it to be race related.

Police were called to one of H.M.Ps to look into a case of theft. Police have said our initial enquires lead us to believe it Is an inside job.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilised

Man; You're one in a million.
Woman: So are your chances.

peregrine wrote: Tue Jul 09, 2019 10:34 am Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilised

Man; You're one in a million.
Woman: So are your chances.

Maybe its true that life begins at forty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out or spread out.

My wife has a contract to give lectures - its called a marriage licence,

I.m on a role

Without a doubt the best Robin Williams film is Mrs Fire

What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra?

He gets taller!

Use the word 'information' in a sentence: 'Geese sometimes fly information.'

I remember the day I saw a photographer get crushed by a huge block of cheese.

We all tried to warn him...