Re: IS THIS A JOKE ??
Posted: Tue Mar 19, 2019 12:37 pm
Garden Wildlife UK
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IS THIS A JOKE ??
Page 40 of 106
Re: IS THIS A JOKE ??
Posted: Wed Mar 20, 2019 9:26 pm
How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.
· Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
· A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
· I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
· Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
· England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
· I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
· They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.
· I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
· Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
· I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
· I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
· This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
· When chemists die, they barium.
· I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
· I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
· Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
· A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
· I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
· Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
· England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
· I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
· They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.
· I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
· Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
· I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
· I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
· This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
· When chemists die, they barium.
· I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
· I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
Re: IS THIS A JOKE ??
Posted: Sat Mar 23, 2019 9:28 pm
Q. Where do you weigh a pie ?
A. Somewhere over the rainbow . . . .
A. Somewhere over the rainbow . . . .
Re: IS THIS A JOKE ??
Posted: Sat Mar 23, 2019 9:30 pm
Yet another attempt to fill up the pages on Peregrine's latest joke book
A lorry containing Omega 3 pills has overturned on the A1
Luckily the driver escaped with just Super Fish Oil injuries.
A lorry containing Omega 3 pills has overturned on the A1
Luckily the driver escaped with just Super Fish Oil injuries.
Re: IS THIS A JOKE ??
Posted: Sun Apr 07, 2019 8:20 pm
"Aren't you uneasy about giving a ride to a total stranger? For all you know I could be a serial killer!"
"bah! The odds against two serial killers in the same car are enormous!"...........
"bah! The odds against two serial killers in the same car are enormous!"...........
Re: IS THIS A JOKE ??
Posted: Mon Apr 15, 2019 9:47 am
Why do blondes take the pill? So they know what day of the week it is!! 
Why did the Dachshund bite the woman's ankle? He couldn't reach any higher!!
Why did the Dachshund bite the woman's ankle? He couldn't reach any higher!!
Re: IS THIS A JOKE ??
Posted: Wed May 08, 2019 4:28 pm
'If you nail your tool shed closed, how do you put your hammer away.' 
I got a self-assembly wardrobe. It didn't work. I got it out of the box and it didn't do a thing.
I got a self-assembly wardrobe. It didn't work. I got it out of the box and it didn't do a thing.
Re: IS THIS A JOKE ??
Posted: Sat May 11, 2019 8:52 am
What do you call a dog with four-inch legs and six-inch balls? - Sparky
Why do dogs wag their tail? - No-one else will do it for them!!
Why do dogs wag their tail? - No-one else will do it for them!!
Re: IS THIS A JOKE ??
Posted: Tue May 14, 2019 9:44 pm
Just had two police officers at my front door.
They asked me the following questions.
'Are you familiar with the letters HB'?
I said, 'No i'm not'
'How about LS'?
'No'
'What about JD'?
I said, hang on a minute, am I a suspect or something'?
They said, No these are just initial enquiries'.
They asked me the following questions.
'Are you familiar with the letters HB'?
I said, 'No i'm not'
'How about LS'?
'No'
'What about JD'?
I said, hang on a minute, am I a suspect or something'?
They said, No these are just initial enquiries'.
Re: IS THIS A JOKE ??
Posted: Wed May 15, 2019 8:33 am
Jacksparrow wrote: Tue May 14, 2019 9:44 pm Just had two police officers at my front door.
They asked me the following questions.
'Are you familiar with the letters HB'?
I said, 'No i'm not'
'How about LS'?
'No'
'What about JD'?
I said, hang on a minute, am I a suspect or something'?
They said, No these are just initial enquiries'.
!!!!OMG!!!!