Garden Wildlife UK

Strange you should say that, Cap'n - my very thoughts.

Strange event this morning. Post arrived with a parcel. Opened it up and read the note. It said 'With the compliments of MM'. Me JOKE BOOK Miss Marple must have secured its release from the kidnapper.

Have you heard of the movie 'Constipation'?
Nope
That's because it hasn't come out yet

Going by his last effort KEV must have had me Joke Book.


Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He couldn't budget!!

Did you hear about the constipated composer? He got stuck in his last movement!!!

Oh dear

There's also a one liner concerning a constipated mathematician but good taste prevents me from repeating it.

Two hunters are walking through the woods, rifles ready. One suddenly cries aaaarrghhh and falls to the ground. His friend bends down: he's not breathing, his eyes are closed.
His friend whips out his mobile and calls 999. "My friend is dead" he cries in panic to the operator who replies in a calm, efficient voice, "I am here to help you, just calm down. Now then, can you do this for me ?, first of all just make sure that he's dead."
A silence ensues and then there is a bang. "OK," says the hunter, "Now what ??".

OOOMMMMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Quite

I've just been to a concert starring the Bermuda philharmonic orchestra.

Half way through, the guy on the triangle disappeared.